The Autism College Connection

As parents of autistic children, we are accustomed to working around their 

rigidity and difficulties with transitions. Your child has likely been in therapy for years to help them become more flexible. 

Yet, when parents come to me for help, I find that I must give them lessons about flexibility. Too often, parents become locked into the idea that their children will attend college after high school. 

For some autistic children, college is appropriate. I speak with families about how to select the right college and how to arrange accommodations. Other children aren’t ready for college, so I talk with parents for a while until they are ready to consider some great alternatives. 

A fixation on college is understandable. Many parents believe that a straight-A report card in special programs in their high school is an indication that their child is ready for college. High schools often do not have staff to counsel parents about alternatives. In many suburbs, the community only discusses college programs. As a result, some parents are confused and locked into goals that aren’t appropriate for their children. 

To help the families open their minds to other options, I point out: 

1. Not all students are ready for college after high school. For many, college may not ever be the right path. And that’s okay. We can work together to choose another goal. 
2. Your child might not be ready for college… yet. I may advise spending the next few years building academic and social skills in a transition program, and then consider a college degree. After all, there is no right age to go to college. Some kids might start college at age 18; others start at age 23. 
3. Your child might be happier in a program that is geared towards their talents. Perhaps they are great with computers, but have a reading disability. Then they can get a certificate in cybersecurity from a vocational school, where they can skip the torture of writing a ten-page paper on Victorian literature. 
4. You have to get comfortable with being different. You might not be an empty nester like your friends. You might not have a college bumper sticker on the back of your car like your neighbors. It’s a disappointment, for sure, but you’ll get over it. Because, along with flexibility, we all have to be resilient, too. 

And truly, this advice isn’t just for parents of autistic children. A great number of typical students find that college isn’t right for them. With the shifts in the economy and the growth of AI, it’s a tough time for career certainty. Today’s young people have jobs that we couldn’t have envisioned even five years ago. Many return to their family homes after college. 

We have entered an era of no “sure things,” so all parents have to build flexibility and resilience.

Originally published in the Autism College Connection newsletter. Subscribe for more.