The Autism College Connection

Last fall, my son took a full course load at our local community college. I had a big calendar on the fridge with his college schedule to manage the driving responsibilities and juggle his other appointments. While he did his homework on his own, I supervised everything else. 

This spring, he went away to an autism college in Vermont. We were nervous. Could he manage his schedule on his own, without my color-coded calendar? Would he go to sleep on time, manage his medicine, and remember to go to the dining hall for dinner? Could he make friends, join clubs, and blend into the larger community? 

The answer to all questions was a “yes.” He’s doing great. 

College builds many skills. Sure, students learn about rhetoric, physics, and biology. Perhaps more importantly, they learn how to organize their closet, manage their time, get along with a roommate who snores, and get to class on time. 

Some college experts say that students should master all those skills BEFORE they go to college. Too many students with autism don’t finish college because those soft skills are not adequately developed, they say. 

However, some students have to learn those skills AFTER they go to college. They need to leave their parents and tackle those skills away from home in a safe environment, like a college campus. 

It’s hard for parents, especially autism parents, to stop providing invisible scaffolding to ensure our children’s success. That’s what we’ve done for years. It’s hard to walk away from that responsibility. It’s hard to know what they can do independently. Without the separation, I might not have realized that my son could manage on his own. 

Some students leave college after a semester or two, because they have trouble with academic classes or because they want to wait until they have a clearer idea about a major. That doesn’t mean their experience was a waste of time. If they gained independent living skills during their time at college, then it was a huge success. 

When my son comes home for the summer, he’ll maintain his schedule. I know he can do it on his own. He can take an Uber to a part-time job and the gym. Thanks to his college, I know he can do it.